Daddying for Dummies

I’ve been trying to take his dummy off him since we got up. This isn’t going well. And then, shortly before breakfast, he gives it up of his own free will. I place the dummy out of reach and watch him run across the room to retrieve a dummy he has hidden under his high chair on some previous occasion. He smiles with his eyes and chomps victoriously. Day one belongs to Dylan.

It’s been a while since my last post, longer than I intended. My final week in work was patchy and inglorious because I caught Dylan's flu. I hobbled in for my last day, still feverish, still with a temperature, and managed to stay long enough to hand over my laptop and receive my parting gift—a wine decanter—before Holly steered my hacking cough home to freedom.

The following week, I conceived and wrote a short story, ‘The Baby’, which I’ve entered into a competition. I intend to write and submit entries to all the short story competitions I can over the coming year. This is my new challenge: win a short story competition, or have a short story published. It's important to dream short.

The weather has been unseasonably good. I’ve built the Grow Rack (a kind-of greenhouse) and installed a water butt. I’ve cleared the debris (broken glass, a rusted bike frame etc.) from the rear of the shed—a gift from the previous owners. I’ve pruned the trees and given the swing a permanent home. I’ve planted seeds: basil, sage, rosemary, tarragon, coriander, courgettes, spring onions, radishes, rocket, four types of tomatoes and four types of lettuce. I’ve re-potted the strawberries and planted lavender and rhubarb. I don't have green fingers but I want Dylan to grow up with a working garden. At the moment he's obsessed with the watering can, and it's me who has to keep refilling the damn thing.

Holly doesn’t go back to work until the middle of May, so we’re splitting the housework. I’ve taken over the weekly shop, ably assisted by Dylan who has his own shopping list (flour, dates, linseed etc. - whatever he can throw in the trolley). I’m also doing all the cooking, which has given me the opportunity to try making some new things: onion rings (yummy), onion bhajis (not bad), balsamic syrup (fantastic on lettuce and goats cheese salad—I hear it’s also good on ice cream) and Gordon Ramsey's Stir-Fried Duck with Noodles.

Dylan likes having me at home. Whenever he hears me coming, he yells 'Daadddyyyy' and comes charging out to meet me. He yells the same thing for Holly. In the past week, we’ve been to the park, library, playgroup and soft play, and next week we're going swimming. Dylan still empties the saucepan drawer into the washing machine but he’s not stupid. A few days ago he wanted me to pick him up but I was busy and refused. Seeing a glass of cordial on the worktop, he reached up and said ‘juice’, so I bent down to give him a drink. He immediately threw his arms around me and held on tight, forcing me to pick him up. If he’s this devious at twenty months, what's he going to be like at two?

I know: terrible. Bring it on.