The First Rule of Tantrums is...

1. Empty your hands—throw or drop whatever you are holding
2. Clear the area—frantically swipe objects off all surfaces within easy reach
3. Hit something—preferably a parent or, failing that, a freshly cleared surface. As a last resort, hit the air around you. Try not to hit yourself but don’t hold back
4. Stomp or kick—lie down if it’s easier
5. Make a lot of noise—shouting is good, wailing is better
6. Cry—it’s like hitting parents where it really hurts
7. Move on—when you’re ready, hug and make up and then go back to playing

Hands up if you were expecting the rules for dealing with tantrums. Me too. The thing is I’m pretty new at this and I can’t pretend to have all the solutions, so I’m relying on instincts. A writer needs to know his readers, a singer needs to know his listeners and a father needs to know his son. Empathy is key.

Toddlers have tantrums. They want to do things and sometimes they can’t because parents say 'no', and sometimes they can't because their bodies, brains or both aren’t sufficiently developed. Either way, it’s frustrating for them and tantrums are the result.

So Dylan’s little stomping fits are here to stay. In fact, they're becoming more frequent and will probably get worse. I can’t change this but I can change how I respond to them. I need a way to deal with tantrums. Here's what I'm going to do:

1. I mustn’t overreact. If Dylan wants my attention so badly he’s prepared to do the flailing limb dance, it’s probably not a good idea to ignore him; but I must remain calm
2. I shouldn't try to stop him. Tantrums are as natural as crying or laughing; Dylan needs to work his way through them
3. If he throws something to the floor, I'll take it off him (unless it’s medicine or food in which case I'll try again). If he makes a mess, he can help me tidy it up when he's calmed down
4. I need to make sure he knows it’s not okay to hit another person. However, as long as he’s not going to hurt himself, I guess all other stomping, kicking or waving of fists is okay
5. I'm going to let him cry. Negative emotions are better out than in. Dylan’s dummy is part of his sleep routine; it’s not for shutting him up
6. When he’s ready to calm down, I'm going to help him, hug him, talk to him and basically let him know it’s okay
7. Holly says I mustn't, under any circumstances, treat tantrums as a drinking game. It’s not okay to keep a bottle of wine handy and have a glass every time there’s steam shooting from his ears

I don’t know if any of this will work but it's what I'm going to try for the time being. Here goes...